Going to the Fair
by RevSue
Summary: A traveling fair comes to Schooner Bay


_Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, and I make no money from this work of fiction!_

"Mom! Mom, guess what?" Jonathan came panting into the house one day after school. Carolyn came out of the living room, pen and paper in hand.

"Good or bad?" She smiled at him.

"The best! The rides are going to come to Schooner Bay! Can we go? Please?"

Carolyn looked blank. Martha came out of the kitchen, drying her hands on a towel.

"What rides might those be?" The housekeeper asked. "Ponies? Or hot air balloons. If it's the latter, count me out. I'm afraid of heights."

Jonathan stared at her. "I didn't think you were afraid of anything, Martha! Not even Captain Gregg!"

Martha snorted. "The day I'd be afraid of your imaginary friend, Jonathan Muir..."

"But you call him the ogre, I've heard you. And that means the same thing as bogeyman, doesn't it?"

A low rumbling was heard through the house, and Martha shook her head. "I still can't get over the thunder we hear in this house, even with a blue sky!"

"It...Might be the sound of the waves on the shore..." Carolyn offered.

"It's Captain Gregg." Jonathan said, with some satisfaction.

"Oh, really?" Martha sounded skeptical.

Carolyn quickly changed the subject. "Now, Jonathan, what were you saying about rides?"

Instantly his excitement returned. "The traveling fair is coming to Schooner Bay in a couple of days! Danny said they usually set up down by the pier, on the waterfront, cause there's more room there. They'll have lots of rides! He said they have the rides going until about eleven o'clock at night, so that you can be up there in the dark and see the lights on the water. Can we stay up that late and see them? Please, Mom?"

"Well, eleven is pretty late..." Carolyn hesitated. "We'll see how the day goes, all right? Where's Candy?"

"She and Adam and Mike are watching Quentin...He's taking sailing lessons, and is supposed to be in the Regatta next month. She said she'll be home in time for supper."

"All right. Thank-you for the news about the fair. We'll definitely be attending it!" Carolyn ruffled her son's hair, even as he ducked away from it with an exasperated look.

That night, Carolyn went out on the balcony to the ship's wheel to watch the moon rise over the bay. She loved this time of night. The Captain joined her as he usually did.

"So, the fair is coming again to Schooner Bay…" was his greeting.

"Hmm. Have you ever been?"

"To the fair?" He was astounded. "Madam, they are for children! And they certainly didn't have them when I was a child."

"Too bad." Carolyn mused. "They are a lot of fun. I haven't been to a fair since I was a teenager. I should have taken Jonathan and Candy, but, well, we just never seemed to find the time. I'm glad they're finally going to have the chance. Candy was saying at supper that most of the usual rides are supposed to be there. The Ferris wheel, merry-go-round, a few of the things that whirl you around fast to make you dizzy, a roller coaster..."

The Captain looked interested at that point. "I have heard of roller coasters. I've been on a carousel--one time when I was on shore leave. The first one on this continent was operated in Salem in 1799, you know. There have been many versions of the roller coaster, but the first one didn't come to America until a few years after my death. I should like to try one."

"Come with me, then, to the Schooner Bay fair." Carolyn spoke impulsively, her eyes shining as she thought of the fun of attending a traveling fair with the Captain.

For a moment the Captain was silent, then he spoke roughly, as if the words were dragged from him. "Did you ever attend such an amusement park with your late husband?"

Carolyn stared at him. He so rarely asked personal questions, and certainly it was unusual for him to mention Richard! Was he jealous, perhaps? "No," she said, slowly. "No, we never did go to a fair. Richard thought they were too frivolous and a complete waste of money."

"Sounds like a sensible chap." The Captain spoke his praise grudgingly. Then he quickly changed the subject, "Doesn't the moon coming up over the water take your mind off all troubling thoughts? Many a time aboard ship, I would watch a moonrise and be heart-glad at the sight. But I never enjoyed any so much as the ones I have watched with you from this very spot."

Carolyn's heart almost turned over. How could he do this so nonchalantly? One minute they were talking about fairs, and in the next instant he was paying her a compliment so sweet she could find nothing to say. He turned to look at her, and she found she couldn't turn her gaze away. Maybe this would be the time he would come out and say that he loved her, instead of simply showing it? He had shown her in a thousand ways that she was beloved...But he had never said it.

Then the moment was shattered when she heard Martha calling up to see if she wanted a cup of tea before going to bed. The Captain disappeared with a muffled curse. Carolyn clenched her hands over the ship's wheel for a moment, eyes closed as she gathered herself together again. Then she called out, "I'll be right down, Martha." As she slowly made her way downstairs, she wondered whether or not the Captain would come with her to the fair.

Her answer didn't come until the day of the fair. Candy and Jonathan were beside themselves with excitement, having planned to spend the day with friends. Carolyn gave them money for the rides and food booths and the various games, cautioning them that they might not be able to find her in the crowd, so they were to take care of the money.

"Crowds? In Schooner Bay?" Martha was amused. "I can't say I ever thought that would be a problem."

"Are you coming with us, Martha?" Candy asked.

"Me? Go to the fair? At my age? What am I saying? I mean, when I have so much work to do here? Go on with you!" Martha shooed the children out the door. Then she winked at Carolyn, "Mind you, if you could conjure up a handsome stranger to escort me, I might be persuaded to change my mind."

"I think I've lost my magic touch." Carolyn chuckled. "Well, if you're sure you won't come with me, I hope you enjoy a calm, quiet day here."

"I'll do my best." Martha waved and vanished into the kitchen again.

Carolyn picked up her keys and jacket from the hall, and then jumped when the Captain's voice said, "May I escort you to the fair, lovely lady? I understand the children will be off with their friends. And if Martha stays home, you will be alone."

"Hardly alone in the crowd, but I thank you, Captain. I would enjoy that very much." She smiled up him gratefully.

"I shall meet you on the pier, then, Madam." And he was gone.

Carolyn considered for a moment, her smile widening. A fun day with the Captain, no strings attached, no problems to solve, no stories to write! With a sudden burst of joy, she flipped the car keys into the air and caught them, then headed out the door after Jonathan and Candy.

Once they arrived at the pier, Carolyn parked the car and the children ran off, with admonitions to be careful! Carolyn strolled down to the entrance to the fairgrounds on the waterfront, and the Captain joined her as she went.

"It's a nice day for this," He observed. "The wind is calm and it's not too warm."

"Not yet." Carolyn agreed. "My experience shows that things heat up at a fair."

"Indeed?" His eyes were speculative.

Carolyn's glance skittered away from his as her heart began to pound. It was to be this kind of day, was it?

As they walked along the waterfront, taking in the sights of the booths and the rides, the clamor of happy voices and carnival music almost drowning out the sound of the waves crashing on the shore, Carolyn noted that other couples were strolling hand in hand. She couldn't help but think 'if only...' She cast sidelong glances at the Captain as they walked, but he didn't appear to notice. Again she smothered a sigh, and kicked at some pebbles and shells. What did she want, anyway? As he had said many times, he was 'only a spirit'!

"Ah! The carousel! Shall we ride on that, Madam?" The Captain pointed out the merry-go-round.

"Of course. All the rides!" Carolyn smiled, pushing her melancholy down deep.

Carolyn bought a booklet of ride tickets at the booth in the center of the square. They walked over to the merry-go-round, and she handed over her ticket stepped up onto the platform. This fair was different from other fairs she had been to in that the crowds simply were not there. There were no line-ups for any of the rides that she could see, and none of them were going full. No wonder the company was only staying in Schooner Bay for a day!

Choosing a horse with a sidesaddle, Carolyn balanced herself carefully, putting one knee over the pommel of the saddle. The Captain appeared beside her, beaming approvingly. "In spite of the fact that you are not wearing the long, flowing skirts of my era...Indeed, no skirt at all but merely pants," His tone was disgusted, "I must say you look at home on that horse, My Dear."

"It would be hard, not to mention hot, to walk around a fair in a long, flowing skirt, Captain." Carolyn squirmed a little to make herself more comfortable. "And then I wouldn't be able to go on some of the rides. I couldn't have my skirts blowing up, now could I?" She grinned at him.

He relaxed a little and grinned back. "I suppose you are right." He conceded. "And, though it pains me to confess it, you are attractive in those pants. It shows off your..." He broke off as her face registered surprise and a touch of embarrassment. He cleared his throat, and then grabbed at a pole when the merry-go-round started moving slowly.

As it picked up speed, the tinned music belting out, Carolyn's horse moved up and down. The Captain stood, holding the pole. "Captain," she bent over to speak to him. "Why don't you try sitting on this horse beside me? It's much more fun."

"I, Madam? On a ride?" He was astounded.

"You, Captain…On a ride. Properly!"

"Oh, very well, if it will please you..." And he seated himself astride the blue steed.

Carolyn watched him from the corners of her eyes, noting the smile that crossed his face as he relaxed. He may have been on a merry-go- round before, but it certainly had been a long time ago!

When they got off, the Captain was enthusiastic. "I should like to have another go at that."

"Later we will." Carolyn promised. "I'd like to try some of the other rides, too."

"Are you planning to go on the roller coaster, Mrs. Muir?" And he indicated the steel girders of that ride.

"I hope so. You will come with me, won't you?" Her eyes were faintly pleading.

"I suppose I shall have to." He sounded long-suffering, but Carolyn could have sworn she heard eagerness in his voice as well.

They got into one of the cars, and the roller coaster started up the hill slowly.

"This doesn't seem bad at all." The Captain said, looking out over the water. "A good view from here. Why the deuce was everyone screaming a few minutes ago? This ride seems fairly tame to me right n--"

At that moment they reached the top of the hill. The cars seemed to hesitate at the very peak, then plunged down and whipped around the curves. Carolyn couldn't help herself, she shrieked along with everyone else. The Captain had clutched at the rail in front, his eyes wide. When the roller coaster slid into the exit area a few minutes later, he released his grip on the rail without a word. They climbed down, and when the others had gone on, Carolyn stopped and looked at him.

"Are you all right, Captain?"

At last the Captain found his voice. "By the powers, Madam, that was worse than being onboard in a hurricane!"

She laughed. "So you don't want to go on it again?"

"On the contrary. Now that I know what to expect, I shall enjoy it all the more next time."

"Well, let's try this...This octopus first." Carolyn indicated a black and red rotating ride that did indeed look like a giant octopus with tentacles holding cars that also rotated.

"Is it similar to the roller coaster?" He eyed it cautiously.

"Similar. It goes fast, too. But you are whirled around. I like them."

"Very well. If you can take it, so can I!" He gritted his teeth.

Carolyn smiled at him. "Thank-you, Captain."

She passed the attendant her ticket, and stepped up into one of the cars, thankful that there weren't too many people around. The attendant was quite willing to allow her the car to herself. He clamped down the lap rail and moved on to load another car. The Captain appeared beside Carolyn, and looked at her hands on the rail ahead.

"Another ride where we hang on?" He questioned.

"Oh, yes!" She nodded.

With a jerk, the ride started. As it picked up speed, Carolyn realized she was sitting on the wrong side of the Captain. But it was too late to say anything. The force on the next turn threw her into the other corner, through the Captain! She felt a tingling sensation rather like static electricity all through her body. She also felt incredibly warm, as if she had been through a hot shower. For a fleeting moment, she was surprised, having thought perhaps she would have felt a chill instead. It seemed as if the noise was increasing. Everything was gayer, lighter, more brightly colored.

Then Carolyn saw the expression on his face just before she was flung through him again. "I'm sorry!" she gasped.

"You passed right through me, Madam! Twice!" The experience had unnerved him, and, as he had learned long ago at sea, feelings of fright were best met with a good dose of fury. He was convinced that had he not been there, she might have been flung out of the ride altogether. Any other time he had come in contact with a mortal, the feeling had merely been a slight, ticklish tingling. But when Carolyn's body passed through his, the act seemed to have granted an intimate connection, like an embrace of many dimensions.

Carolyn broke into laughter, and laughed more than she had in a long time. There was almost tinge of hysteria to it. She was pressed into the corner where the Captain had sat, although he had, by now, moved to the opposite side, not being affected as badly by the centrifugal force. "I'm sorry," she gasped again through her laughter, "but your face is just so...So..."

For a minute his face grew forbidding, then the ride slowed down and he said, "Ah, at last." But he spoke too soon, for the instant it stopped; it began to spin the other way.

"Oh, no!" Carolyn tried to hold on to her place, but without success. Once more she was flung into him. For a moment he did not move, and it gave her the strangest feeling to see her hands with the glow of his around them. Then he was again on the other side of the seat, his face a study of emotion. Once again he had had the strange feeling that he and Carolyn had connected on a deeper level than ever before.

At last the ride ended. Carolyn was weak from laughter, and she stumbled as she made her way down the ramp at the exit. The Captain's hand shot out instinctively, but she caught at the side rail. Her dancing eyes met his, and an answering twinkle in his expression sent shockwaves of joy through her system. She almost said aloud, "I love you!" But caught the words back, and turned away.

"I think we'll leave that ride alone next time." She spoke lightly. "Now I feel the need of something more sedate. Perhaps we should go on the merry-go-round again?"

"Anything you suggest, Mrs. Muir." He acquiesced.

The two had a marvelous couple of hours, trying various rides and going on some of them two or three times. They wandered along the various booths where young men and children were trying to win stuffed toys, and stood and watched while a man guessed people's weights.

The Captain grinned. "I should materialize and see if he could guess my weight. Would you like that big panda over there, My Dear?"

Carolyn chuckled. "You'd weigh nothing at all, and he'd be furious!"

"I should like to win something for you, though." He confessed.

"Thank you for the thought, Captain, but it's not necessary! I don't need any more than I already have..." Her eyes showed her joy in being with him, and then she turned away with a sigh. What was she saying? Of course she didn't need more, but she would certainly like more. Much more.

Carolyn bought some cotton candy and gave a small bit to the Captain to try. She laughed at the expression on his face when the candy melted in his mouth almost before he tasted it.

"What invention of the devil is this? He looked disgusted.

Carolyn passed him a slightly bigger piece, which she had pinched between her fingers, and he nodded as it again dissolved, leaving a sweet flavor in his mouth.

"Different." He pronounced. "I'm not sure I would want to eat such a mountain of sugar, but I can see that it would not be very filling." and he eyed the candy swirled around the cardboard stick she held in her hand.

Correctly interpreting his look, Carolyn held out the stick so he could help himself. She smiled as he pulled off a large chunk, and then tried to bite into it.

"By the powers, I've never had such impossible food! It disappears almost faster than I do myself!"

Licking her fingers as she finished the candy, Carolyn threw out the stick and wiped her hands on her pants. "Not too elegant, I know," she grinned as she saw the Captain raise his eyebrows at her actions, "but now they're not so sticky."

He dabbled his hands in the water of the drinking fountain nearby and shook them free of drops.

"Now what?" He asked, expectantly.

"How about the Ferris wheel? Look, it's a double Ferris wheel!"

Carolyn found she was very aware of the growing excitement between herself and the Captain. Her blood was pulsing to the music of the carnival. She felt giddy and a little breathless. The sunlight, the warmth, and the joyous noise all around her heightened her senses...And the handsome figure at her side…So tall, so broad in the shoulder. Walking beside him, Carolyn was conscious of his gentle strength. Something was happening to her...A deep delight stirred in her body.

Again the lack of people waiting to go on the Ferris wheel meant that Carolyn was able to have a seat to herself. As the wheel moved slowly up, stopping briefly every few seconds to load another seat, the Captain appeared at her side. Carolyn glanced over at him, and he smiled down at her. She suddenly noticed that his mouth was well shaped, generous, and strong without being too hard.

She was struck by a crazy impulse to reach up and try to touch his lips, trace their outline gently with her fingers. She was filled with a heady excitement. Then the words of an old song came into her mind: "Do not touch me, lest I turn to flame..."

With a gasp, Carolyn pulled her eyes away from his intense gaze. She looked out over the ocean and the part of the town that could be seen, and made a hasty comment about the scenery.

"Yes...It's similar to being up in the crow's nest." The Captain agreed. "But I've never shared time in the crow's nest with a woman before."

"Not even your stowaway?" Carolyn spoke daringly.

"Stowaway?" He looked blank.

"You know, 'She was a lovely lass, on her way to Dover'" She mimicked his words.

"Oh!" He flashed her a wicked grin. "We were much too busy to cuddle in the crow's nest--to say nothing of the lack of creature comforts up there. Besides, you have something neither she nor any other woman I've ever met did or could have."

"What is that?" Carolyn couldn't help herself---Her curiosity was overwhelming.

"An enchanting smile that's enough to bring a man to his knees..."

Touched, Carolyn's smile blossomed for him. By now they were at the very top of the wheel. It stopped with a jolt and their seat swung gently.

"My Dear," The Captain spoke softly, "Over the last few months, I find I have grown rather fond of you. I even venture to say that perhaps the feeling is reciprocal?"

Carolyn clenched the bar and stared out over the ocean. She kept her voice light. "You can say the word, you know. Don't be afraid."

"Are you accusing me of being a coward again, Madam?" His voice was a little huffy.

"Then say it." She dared him, turning her dancing green eyes fully on him.

He blustered for a moment more, then said, "Oh, very well. I...Well, that is to say, we...Confound it, woman, how dare you call me a coward!"

Carolyn couldn't contain her smile. "You can't say it, Captain, can you?"

"Can you?" He countered.

"Why, I..." Her voice faltered, and she looked away from his intense gaze. "You're right. Why say something when nothing can come of it?"

"Oh, I don't know." Suddenly he was cocky again. "I like anything that comes out of your lips...You have such a lovely smile, I long to kiss you..."

Carolyn was startled out of her composure. "Captain Gregg!" She teased him gently. "I think you are forgetting yourself!" Her eyes were on his lips, and she imagined them covering hers. A tingle ran though her body.

"The question is purely academic, of course." He sounded regretful.

"Of course." Disappointment was heard in her flat voice as well.

"Unless..." He perked up. "You know, My Dear, I do think that perhaps we should kiss once, and get it out of our systems, or we will continue to wonder what it would be like."

"We can't!" She evaded his glance.

"Ah, but there might be a way. We both know that as a spirit, I am no longer part of your time, right?"

"Yes." Her voice was strangely husky.

"But if I stopped time, gave us a moment out of time, it is quite possible that we would be able to cross the physical barriers separating us now. Rather like when I stopped time a few weeks ago and took Claymore's hand," here he grimaced, "…To show him what his future would be. He had no problem feeling me."

"But..." Carolyn began.

"As I see it, My Dear, we could eventually be driven mad wondering what it would be like to have kissed. We really should attempt it."

Why did that sound so logical? There was a flaw there somewhere, but she couldn't seem to identify what that might be when she was looking into those bright blue Irish eyes of his. Concentrating at all seemed impossibly difficult…And not particularly appealing.

"Just one kiss?"

"A reasonable test, given the circumstances."

"Sort of like academic research?" She tried to keep her voice steady, but the faint tremble was evident to him.

"Absolutely." He said in a husky voice as he lowered his head toward hers. All sounds stopped, and Carolyn knew this was their moment out of time. Their eyes met and the bond between them was forged anew. It was not exactly like the intense physical awareness that had sprung into being the very first time they met...Indeed, when Carolyn had first laid eyes on the Captain's portrait...But that was part of it. Flames leaped into his eyes, blinding her to all else but them and the moment. The instant their lips touched, Carolyn knew one kiss would never be enough. His mouth was too inviting, too persuasive by far. For the first time in her life, she felt such a strong, swift rising of desire. It took her breath away. Indeed, she thought she might never breathe again. Might never want to.

Carolyn loved him. She had experienced love before, so she recognized it when she felt it--the fierce, possessive strength of it, the vital truth of it, the living, breathing essence of it. It certainly didn't have to be easy. Real love included struggles and disagreements and confusion. She also knew what love was from her children. She knew that ferocious desire to be everything to them, to guard them against all the evils of the world, to be exasperated by them and outraged by them and yet to know with every breath she took that they were what made her life worth living. And that was how she felt about Captain Daniel Gregg.

He slid his palm along the column of her neck, tunneled his fingers through her hair, and she shivered. The heat from his touch melted some deeply buried defense mechanism she had desperately clung to for years. She moaned faintly, but couldn't draw back. Not yet. Desperately she wound her arms around his neck and slid even closer. Her reaction astonished herself, and him.

The Captain pulled back first, setting her away from him. Gradually the sounds of the fair came back, and the rocking of the chair they were in commenced once more as the Ferris wheel moved slowly around yet again. Carolyn was mortified that her feelings had shown so blatantly. 'I'm pathetic. A lonely, desperate widow,' she castigated herself, 'He said it was supposed to be an experiment, and look how I reacted! What must he think of me?' In spite of her resolve never to compare anyone with Richard, she couldn't help herself.

Richard had been quite attentive during their courtship. He had always known what to say, picked the perfect gift for a special occasion. After that...Well, a lot of married couples shift into a lower gear, and it didn't matter that she had missed some of the extra attention, the special-ness they had once had. After all, Richard had been busy with his work, and she had had the babies. It was of no significance that with the Captain, Carolyn felt an excitement, an un-diagnosable thrill, that she could never remember experiencing with Richard. Not even in the early days of their courtship. Perhaps she had simply forgotten. She struggled to pull herself together, and to come up with something to break the deepening silence. If only she had been more restrained in the Captain's arms!

"Will this blasted thing ever get back to earth?" He finally spoke. He was more shaken that he was prepared to admit, so again resorted to blustering. He had not been prepared for the feelings the kiss evoked in him. Blast it; he had been dead for over one hundred years! It had never occurred to him before that the strong attraction he had felt for Carolyn Muir might be love! Rather, he had never admitted to himself that it could be possible. She had got to his heart. To care for any woman would make him vulnerable, he knew only too well. If he had learned anything of consequence in his various escapades, it was to protect himself at all costs. Loving her could destroy him. Look what had almost happened with Vanessa. With her, he had realized in time that it was dangerous to be so attracted to a woman. Foolish. Irresponsible.

With Carolyn Muir, he had hidden his feelings, even from himself, behind the thought that as an illusion, he could not possibly have such mortal desires. What on earth was he to do now? His instincts were to flee, far and fast...But just how far could he go? He was tied to Gull Cottage. Bound, in some mystical yet physical way, to this beautiful woman. She must never find out his true feelings. She was mortal. She deserved much better than anything he could give her in his present state. He had to escape somehow and think things over...Retreat and regroup. Maybe once he could think clearly again, he would be able to look into those dear, beautiful green eyes without suffering the way he was now. In the dark recesses of his mind, an unwanted, unaccustomed fear took root. What if he was not capable of ever giving her what she wanted? How could he be capable in his present state?

"Feeling sorry for yourself, Captain?" Carolyn still couldn't look at him, but she was now furious that he appeared to be blaming her for his experiment not working out quite as he had expected.

"Look who's talking," He retorted, surprised by her tone and lack of sympathy. Still embarrassed by the intensity of the kiss, and wanting to deflect any possibility of showing his discomfort, he rushed into speech, which he regretted as soon as he said it. "The reclusive widow, who hides herself from life by avoiding contact with anyone who might possibly stir her to feeling something real and important."

"Sex is hardly world-shaking." Carolyn was enraged, partly because she was afraid he might be right. She said the first thing that came into her head, knowing as the words came out of her mouth that she didn't believe them one bit.

The Captain spoke quickly, "It can be. Between the right people, it can be the world."

He realized the impact of his words a split second after uttering them. Ignoring her shocked face and the questions that raced through her expressive eyes, he disappeared with a muffled "blast!"

Carolyn dropped her head onto her hands and moaned. She could never face him again! Never!

The Captain paced on the widow's-walk, very exasperated, very introspective. Why was this happening to him? It wasn't supposed to be like this! He had earned peace and tranquility in his afterlife, hadn't he?

Daniel Gregg considered himself the master of the game of playing at love. Yet when it came to really loving someone, he didn't have the faintest idea how. Just considering that problem was scaring him, and that was a feeling not to be born. Not since Vanessa had he unintentionally hurt someone. That was when he had vowed to never let another woman close enough to be hurt. Blast it, he would not allow himself to become so vulnerable again! Yet now he had inadvertently caused distress to someone more dear to him than anyone or anything he had ever imagined. How could he face her again? What must she think of him? He had been so brazen, so cocksure, to demand a kiss of her. How could she help but be disgusted at his behavior? She must be wishing he would simply disappear forever...Cease to haunt her home. And she had indeed turned Gull Cottage into the home it never had been. It was hers, now, whatever the deed said. There was something he could do for her...Sometime he would have to bully Claymore into turning the place over to her. If he could bear to continue seeing her, knowing what he had attempted in a moment of obvious insanity. She had been glad for his company, safe in the knowledge that he was a spirit. Had he not told her the first night they met that she need not fear him, as he was merely an illusion? Then today he had had the brashness of an overgrown sea lion to stop time and kiss her! Carolyn Muir must be...Must be...Suddenly a thought flashed through his mind. She had responded! Not with anger or disgust...Not at first. Not at all…No, she had been warm and generous and loving! Could it be possible that he was wrong? Did she perchance love him every bit as much as he loved her?

Meanwhile, Carolyn had stepped off the Ferris wheel, wondering if she could somehow go home. She felt a great need to walk along the beach, or to bury herself in her bed until she had sorted out her feelings. Having no reason to expect that the Captain would leave Gull Cottage, whatever she had done, Carolyn resolved to be friendly, to ignore what happened, to try to behave as she had before. She tried hard to suppress the desires he had roused. Desires that even now were raging through her slim frame. Desires which he obviously had not expected to find and had not wanted to find...

Then Candy and Jonathan ran up to her. "Mom! We're glad we found you! Someone was asking where Martha was!"

"Who?" Carolyn queried.

Jonathan grinned. "Painter Peavey!"

"Mrs. Muir!" Carolyn turned to see Ed Peavey coming towards her. "Your children tell me that Miss Martha Grant didn't come to the fair. Is she not feeling well?"

"She's fine, Mr. Peavey." Carolyn reassured him, quickly.

"I sure hope so. I was wondering." Now he looked a little uncomfortable, and shuffled his feet, not meeting her eyes, "do you think if someone, well, if I were to, you know...Not saying that I will, mind you, but, well, I was kinda hoping that she...That I..."

"You want her to come to the fair with you?" Candy couldn't wait any longer for him to stammer out his thoughts.

"Well, might. Then again, might not." But the man looked relieved that she had divined his meaning. "You know, I had some of her cherry pie the other day. That woman sure can bake a mean pie! And she's a fine figure of a woman."

"What does that mean?" Jonathan asked before Carolyn could hush him.

Ed flushed and didn't answer. Carolyn pushed aside her own dilemma, and smiled at the harried man. "I think Martha would love it if you were to ask her, Mr. Peavey. Why don't you phone and see?"

"Well, I just might do that, Mrs. Muir." Relieved, the man made his escape.

Candy and Jonathan grinned at each other, and at their mother. "See what we won?" they chorused, and displayed their booty of plastic dinosaurs and small stuffed toys. After Carolyn had commented on them, and heard in detail where and how they had been won, the children continued, "Now, can we have some supper?"

"It's only the middle of the afternoon!" Carolyn exclaimed, glancing at her watch. She had been hoping it was later than this. She wanted this day to end...She didn't want to remember it...And yet, the start had been so wonderful. No, she would cherish the memory of the day for the rest of her life...The only part she would try to forget was her exuberant response to the Captain's kiss. She sighed, unconsciously reliving the emotions that had so rapidly coursed through her body.

"Are you hot, Mom?" Candy asked suddenly. "You've gone all red."

Carolyn jumped and covered her cheeks with her hands. "It is a little warm, isn't it?"

"The breeze is nice off the sea." Jonathan said. "Captain Gregg said it's never too hot at sea unless you're becalmed."

"You and that dumb ghost!" Candy was disgusted. "You aren't scaring me any more, so you might as well stop talking about him."

"But..." Jonathan began.

"We'll discuss Captain Gregg later." Carolyn put in quickly. She had successfully managed to bury her emotions before this; she could do it again when it came to the Captain. With any luck, if she acted as though nothing had changed between them, he would assume that her response had been merely a temporary aberration and would...

"Mom?" Candy was looking at her again. "What's the matter?"

"Hmm? Oh, nothing. Let's go find something to eat." Said Carolyn.

"You just said it's too early." Jonathan pointed out.

Carolyn resigned herself to having a long time left at the fair. She went on rides with the children, although she avoided the Ferris wheel, they met up with Ed and a beaming Martha who looked ten years younger. By nine o'clock, the children were looking as tired as Carolyn felt. They went on one more merry-go-round ride, and then Carolyn sent the children on the Ferris wheel to see the lights out over the water. At last she could steer the children toward the car and a safe haven for herself.

As soon as the children were in bed, she heard Ed Peavey's truck rumbling up to the house. Martha came in alone; so Carolyn ran down to see her.

"I'm so glad you actually got to go to the fair today, Martha. I was feeling sorry for you, and wondering if I should come back to drag you there."

"I guess you haven't lost your magic touch after all, Mrs. Muir." Martha was flushed and happy. "Although I did ask for a handsome stranger...And I know Ed Peavey!"

Carolyn chuckled.

Then Martha confided to Carolyn, "You know, after Dr. Rodman, I didn't think I would ever be interested in a man again. But that Ed Peavey, well, I have fun with him! And he likes my cherry pies!"

"Can't miss!" Carolyn smiled. She couldn't help but compare herself to Martha. She, too, had thought she would never be interested in another man after Richard, but she had enjoyed the first part of the day with Captain Gregg. She resolutely pushed her thoughts away from the wonders of the kiss and the shamed feeling she was forced to acknowledge about her reaction to a simple touch of the Captain...Suddenly she stopped. It hadn't been a simple touch! The Captain had had to overturn the natural order to be able to physically touch her! Why had she forgotten that fact? Surely he wouldn't have gone to so much trouble if he really didn't want to get a reaction, would he? It was actually a liberating thought. Maybe he had been inviting her response? Could he have just been surprised, and not disgusted?

Martha made a pot of tea and seemed to want to talk, but after Carolyn had shifted restlessly on her chair for about ten minutes and hadn't yet finished her first cup, Martha laughingly waved her to bed. "I'll help clean up the dishes," Carolyn offered feebly.

"No, you had a longer day than I did to wander around that fair, Mrs. Muir. Off you go! Good night."

"I am rather...Tired." Carolyn confessed sheepishly. Or was preoccupied a better word? Whichever she was, she murmured goodnight to Martha and made her way up the stairs to her room.

Carolyn crossed the room to the French doors, and let herself out on to the balcony. Moonlight fell brightly upon beach and ocean and the emptiness stretched for miles, somehow reassuring to see. Far to the right were the lights of Schooner Bay...And the Ferris wheel. Carolyn turned her head, unable to look upon it again. She stood by the ship's wheel, gazing out toward those ceaseless waves rolling in on the beach. 'There are waves like that in our lives…ebbing and flowing, urging us along, pulling us back, now threatening, now calming." she murmured. There was still an uncertainty in her, like those waves on the beach, and it brought with it restlessness. Her own tides were swollen with unanswered questions, with temptations, with desires.

Suddenly she had the feeling that she was not alone, although she could not see the Captain anywhere.

"Good evening, Captain." She spoke lightly

Then his voice came softly out of the dusk behind her. "Good evening, Mrs. Muir. You were speaking of the ocean. There are always waves, but the size differs. Some can be overwhelming."

"Yes." She agreed. Then she turned to look at him. Before she could stop herself, she asked, "Are you annoyed with me?" She almost cringed. She hadn't meant to be the one to bring up the topic!

"If I'm annoyed with anyone, I am annoyed with myself." He paused for a second, because being completely honest with a woman, he was just beginning to remember, was harder than it seemed. "I'm used to being in charge of myself and the situation. It has been a long time since I've given of myself and allowed myself to be open to trust and commitment. I was but a lad. I thought I needed no one. But I'm discovering that I'm not as strong as I thought. That I'm more vulnerable than I thought. And that's difficult for a man to admit even to himself, let alone anyone else."

A subtle change took place in her eyes, and Carolyn looked at him wonderingly. A curious loosening was happening within her--strange, she thought, after they had just had a fairly serious disagreement. "Why don't we just forget about our...Experiment?" She suggested in a small voice. She prayed that he wouldn't mention her response to his kiss ever again.

"Is that what you really want?" His voice was so tender that Carolyn felt tears springing to her eyes.

She turned away so he couldn't see. "Yes." Came her muffled answer. "I'd like to be friends again."

"Friends." For a moment the Captain waited, hoping she would change her mind. But her back remained stiff. "So I'm forgiven." He finally spoke again.

She gave a soft laugh. "You haven't apologized and asked forgiveness. And there is no need." She slowly turned to look at him again. "We are both adults. We can deal with it. We have to. There is no other choice. We can put it behind us and carry on. I've..." Her voice caught for a moment, then she steadied it. "I've done it before."

"Very well, Madam." The Captain bowed gallantly, accepting her decision for the moment. "Good night." and he disappeared. Appearing in the attic, he searched his desk for a pen and paper. He had an idea. He considered it to be a brilliant idea. She was a writer, and would not fail to respond to words. She might misconstrue his actions at times, but words…Ah...He would write her a love poem. Then she would know his true feelings!

Fate, however, seemed to be conspiring to work against the Captain when it came time to read the poem which had taken a couple of days for him to write. He didn't put much faith in Scruffy's judgment when the dog yawned and tried to escape from the attic where the Captain first read his masterpiece out loud. Surely Carolyn...And he savored her first name which he found as lovely as she was...Would be able to hear what he was saying between the lines. She would know that she had become far more dear to him than all the memories of his past could ever be. But when he tried to read them to her the next morning, first Scruffy interrupted them, then Martha, then the words seemed to stick in his throat and he found it hard to get them out. Finally the Captain disappeared in high dudgeon and decided he would read it to her that evening after the children were in bed, and the cares of the day were past. Maybe then it would be easier for him.

Carolyn seemed to sense his efforts. She put on a nice dress for supper, and, after the children had gone to bed and Martha had retired to her room for the evening, Carolyn stepped out on to the verandah of Gull Cottage to enjoy the evening air. Sure enough, the Captain appeared at her side. Carolyn smiled up at him, lightly teasing him, as was her way when she wanted to cover her joy in his presence. She had to make him think that all she was really interested in was his friendship...Then maybe he would forget her wantonness in his arms!

But alas, his plans for finally reading what he wished her to hear were again shattered by the loud music from the beach. That, in turn, caused the Captain to have a temper tantrum that drowned out any sound whatsoever, and caused two very wet people to come to Gull Cottage for shelter. Carolyn knew the Captain was fuming, especially when Claymore also came to the door, demanding that the van stuck in the sand on the beach be removed.

All was forgotten, however, as the young man, Tim, sang a hauntingly beautiful song with his guitar. Much to Carolyn's surprise, the Captain suddenly became insistent that Tim stay the night. She went along with the change of plans, and showed Tim to the guest room. There was no further sign of the Captain that night. Carolyn told herself that she couldn't possibly care so much for someone who was not real, and who was not willing to take the risk to love, but a few scalding hot tears slid down her cheek in the darkness.

The next morning after breakfast, Carolyn found herself sitting with her family in the alcove; listening to Tim sing a new song he had just finished composing. The words, she had just found out, were Captain Gregg's--he said that she would hear the young man's voice, but his thoughts. She felt a lump coming to her throat, and had to raise her hand to ease her blouse away in order to keep breathing. Her fingers played with her collar absentmindedly as she listened, and heard what the Captain was saying to her. He loved her. He truly did love her as much as she loved him. He loved her more than anything. His words in the poem proved that. Happiness was breaking over her, and she couldn't speak at first. But her eyes said it to the Captain. And at last, as she clapped with the rest of the family, she could whisper, "The song is lovely, and your poem is beautiful, Captain."

His eyes looked deep into hers, then his Victorian reticence cloaked him again, and he cleared his throat.

"Merely a bit of doggerel I wrote a long time ago."

Carolyn smiled knowingly, and he added quickly, "A very long time ago."

She nodded solemnly, but her eyes danced. Then she had to turn back to the others in the room. The Captain disappeared.

All the rest of that day, Carolyn walked around in a sort of daze. He did love her! She hadn't embarrassed either herself or him! His experiment had turned out to be a success after all. Up in her room in the afternoon, Carolyn put her hand against her lips, foolishly tender as a young girl in her remembering. Would there ever be more? What would happen when she saw the Captain again? What did she want to happen? What did this growing feeling she had toward the Captain mean, and how far did she want it to go? Was she heading straight for a greater hurt than any she had ever known? The longer he waited to appear to her again, the more agitated she became. Martha commented laughingly on her fidgeting at dinner, and Carolyn escaped to her room, ostensibly to work on an article, as soon as the children were in bed for an early night after their long day the day before.

She typed for an hour, then crumpled up the papers and stood at the telescope, looking at the moon rising over the water. A slight tremor ran over her, and she turned slightly. The Captain materialized, and their eyes locked.

He murmured,

""If only I could touch your hand,

The shore bird's call, the sea breeze,

The spruce-wood mast that rises tall,

I'd happily forget them all,

If only I could touch your hand."

As he stretched out his hands, she hesitantly put hers into them, noting the quietness that settled over Gull Cottage. Even the dull roar of the surf was silenced. The Captain held both of her hands tenderly in his, his thumbs softly smoothing over the skin of her palms. She tried to swallow the lump in her throat, and said nothing.

The Captain continued,

"If I could link your arm in mine,

The tropic sun, the emerald surf,

The fleecy clouds like sugar spun,

I'd happily forget each one,

If I could link your arm in mine."

He gently urged her closer, his arms linking with hers. Carolyn began to tremble with the desire and the happiness washing over her. She turned her face up to his, a yearning expression in her brilliant green eyes.

The Captain continued on to the last verse of the poem, saying huskily,

"Of all the things that cannot be,

There's one alone means most to me.

It's not the lure of distant shores,

But that my lips cannot touch yours.

My lips cannot touch yours."

Carolyn spoke at last, in a whisper, "This is another moment out of time...For us."

His lips touched hers softly, reverently. Then he pulled her close and she snuggled in, rubbing her cheek against his bearded chin. "I love you, Carolyn Muir." He admitted at last.

Carolyn's lips were on his. Then she pulled back slightly. "And I love you, Daniel Gregg."

For a long moment, all that was to be heard in the room was the soft sighs and whispers of lovers who have just found each other.

"I've never said anything I meant more to anyone." the Captain found his voice again. "I broke off my betrothal to Vanessa because I was not sure that I could provide for her as she wished. Some women are quite demanding, I've found..."

Carolyn nudged him in the ribs, and quickly kissed him again. He trailed a finger down her cheek, and murmured, "Perhaps, deep down, I was afraid of the commitment. I loved the sea so much, and my ship...I was worried that I wouldn't be able to give my all to Vanessa. And she wanted nothing less. Loving someone then would have come in second best, I'm afraid, and I couldn't ask that of her. I could never ask it of you, either."

"I know," She spoke, softly. "Your poem says that. I...I'm flattered that you feel that way. It means so much to me..."

"I feel as though I'm at the end of an era..." His voice was deep, with a hint of a chuckle beneath.

"No. This is only the beginning." She said. "Running away from love brings nothing, even though staying means the risk we are often afraid to take. Now we both have the courage and the will to meet our destiny."


End file.
